I received an email stating:

"Like the pastor in California who attempted on Friday morning but didn't pass away until 36 hours or so later, if the person has an opportunity to communicate with God and ask forgiveness (not dying instantly but recognizes what they have done) what happens then?"

Now I share my response publicly because of the many emails concerning this that will help somebody reading beyond measure.

My response: 

Let me first say this, God is not the author of confusion but of peace in all the Churches His word tells us. 

The bible also tells us: For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. 
(James 3:16)

Your question is the question many have after hearing about the Pastor who committed suicide. It seems like a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe the pastor met Jesus in that 36 hour window, Jesus spoke to Him and said, "you know what you did was wrong" and the pastor replies, "yes, I see that now, Lord please forgive me for what I have done to myself, my family, my congregation, the church and especially to You," and the Lord says, "I will forgive you..."

Let me ask you a question, if it reached that point does it seem that Jesus would have said:

a.) "I will forgive you, come and enter into the joy of the Lord, don't worry about the mess left behind, I will find a way to fix it."
b.) "I will forgive you. There was a lot of damage done when you did this act but out of my mercy and great abundance of love towards you and as an act of My forgiveness towards you I will restore life and health unto you, send you back as a testimony of My goodness and mercy. Now tell the people suicide is a sin in the eyes of God and not the way out and many will be saved and healed by this testimony.

I tell you both a.) and b.) would be acceptable answers to many who have been troubled by what this pastor did but obviously b.) did not come to pass so a.) will absolutely do. 

They say, "God somehow will make it right. God somehow forgave this man in this 36 hours (because 30 years this man lived, a portion of it as a 'saved christian' did not suffice?), God will not condemn this man to hell because he was tormented with anxiety and depression, He knows our hearts" (because God's love is not enough to cast out fear?), suicide is not the unpardonable sin" (so as long as he didn't blaspheme the Holy Ghost it's a sin acceptable to be forgiven of after he killed himself?), and no where in the bible does it say suicide is a sin (so that means God is completely forgiving of murdering ones self)...

The whole point is that many are forgetting that it is not God who put this man in this situation. We really do not know what is going on in the very personal lives of men and women in the churches. We really don't. 

Sometimes secret things come out after the fact and many shake their heads and say, "I knew it... " and move on with some sort of resolution to their confusion and pain.

But for others secrets or actuals in the personal life of someone who did such an act will not be revealed here but is in no way a secret to the Lord or to the devil. 

What if I were to tell you the following:

A well known mega-pastor was found dead in his hotel room while readying for a conference only to find out after autopsy reports revealed he overdosed on heroin. What?! This was a pastor who was very well know in the Church, not to all but to many and on the outside he was a Godly man but behind close doors he was sinning. 

Or what about another minister who lead a worldwide church organization called, "Voice of the Martyrs" was found hanging having committed suicide, rocking the Christian community only for it to be found out he was facing allegation of sexually abusing a 10-year old girl 

Or what about another pastor who also committed suicide again rocking his church and the church as a whole only for it to be revealed he was committing adultery among other things...

and more

The bible tells us the wages of sin is death. Why doesn't the church believe this? They play with sin and when death comes it's a surprise. 

Remember God offered all of these Christians eternal life, they claimed to have received it, God offered them forgiveness of sins, the anointing to preach and/or do ministry, etc but they somewhere in the road decided to sin. They somewhere in the road decided to fall away from God and the faith. 


I don't know why but you know what I have come to realize by the Lord. It is not for us to know the why's? 

Why did that pastor commit suicide?
why did that pastor overdose?
why did that pastor commit adultery?
why did the pastor sexually abuse children?
why did that pastor fall away from the faith?

why, why, why....

All these why's are a trap of Satan to cause the believer to stumble, fear and doubt God. God is not calling us to know the "why's" God is reminding us right now to follow HIM 

"Come, Follow ME"

Not follow the ways of this world but follow Me. Not follow people and their outward lives without knowing them personally but "Follow Me." He says, "Following Me you are safe. Following the world you are not safe.

You may say, "but the Church is not the world."

But my friend in these last days you can barely tell the two apart.

We must remember we are living in the last days and he who does not endure to the end and that includes you, me and every Christian whether they are a pastor, minister or new believer, will not be saved.  

If a Christian commits suicide they did not endure to the end, they gave up. They gave up on the faith, they gave up on Jesus, they gave up on His word and we are told by the Lord the following:

"Now the just shall live by faith;
But if anyone draws back,
My soul has no pleasure in him.”
But we are not of those who draw back to
perdition, but of those who believe to the saving of the soul.
Hebrews 10:38

So the question is not, "Maybe God in those 36 hours that pastor was on life support forgave him." God did not not wait for him to commit or "attempt" to commit suicide to forgive him. 

It is not even a question of why but a wake-up call to the Church. The wake-up call is this: 

"Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. (Galatians 6:7-8)

But instead many in the Church are not receiving this word, they are getting a false word and saying, "this is a wake-up call to be more mindful on mental illness, we are not doing enough if you need help don't come to the churches because we too are falling apart, seek the world for help, get hooked up on meds that cause suicidal thoughts, go to psychiatrist who secretly need help too because they are in as bad a shape on the inside, go to far away places in search for eastern religion medicines with gurus, swamis, spiritualist teachers who claim to heal you from these types of mental illnesses but instead are secret witch doctors that put demons on you, take prozac, take a vacation, get a new wardrobe, take a bubble bath, get hypnotized, come to church and listen to a powerless message, believe in yourself, normalize it, don't judge..."

Nothing about repentance of secret shames, and sins. 


The fear of God is hitting the churches head on so that they may repent and be saved before the coming judgment that will begin in the house of God first. 

But instead of receiving the fear of the Lord many and I mean many in the church have set up others just like that man to take their own life with the deceiving spirit that they too will make it into heaven because they "knew Jesus."

Jesus will tell them the same, "I never knew you, you who practice lawlessness. You have caused these little ones who believed in Me to stumble..." 

We need to fear God again. We need to fear God and He will forgive us. He will save and cleanse us. He will do mighty works in us. We must fear the Lord. 

But instead the church will not have it, they will call good evil and evil good. They have exchanged bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. This is the great falling away. This is the seducing and deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons promised would happen in the last days. This is the tickling of ears, fables taught, conscience seared with hot iron.

Evangelist Anita 
Pastor Commits Suicide 

Many have questions, "Did he make it to heaven? Did God forgive him in the 36 hours he will still "alive"? If a Christian commits suicide will they still make it to heaven?"